Today I put my hand over my heart, and the feeling I got back was exhausted.
I laid in bed 30 extra minutes.
After I was able to get moving, I did feel more energetic and was able to make it into work. I actually did well until I got back home, where I did 30 minutes of meditation which got me back to exhausted and collapsed again. I'm so used to running on fumes, rushing, rushing.
I'm finishing up 90210. It is not a blast from the past because it is the second one.
I do remember when the original came out. That was one of the shows that was off limits. Having only one TV in the house helped.
Even if I did have time, I probably wouldn't have watched it. I ran for years. Like I told the counselor, I was addicted to success. It was my way out. My idea of perfection was my way out.
I've let perfect go. I'm letting my idea of success go.
I was lucky, and I'm still lucky. I feel grateful.
Today I will take it easy. I've been running for a long time. It's hard to learn how to walk again, but I am doing it, one day at a time. I am grateful for the gift of recovery, friendship and fellowship.
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